Think Positively. Live Positively
Having a new baby and raising children is one of the most exciting, challenging and daunting experiences in life. It brings immense joy and satisfaction but it can also result in you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Taking on so many new responsibilities can leave you wondering who you have become. Tracey Wall, director of Empowering Mums and professional personal coach, discusses how to maintain the control and direction of your life by adopting a positive attitude, which will empower you to become a confident, balanced and happy woman.
For most women, at some point during pregnancy and motherhood, it is common to feel uncertain and concerned about life and its direction. The enormity of this life-changing event can be overwhelming, leaving many mothers feeling out of control.
Mums face endless challenges on a daily basis. Adopting a positive outlook, and believing in your own strengths and capabilities, will help you through any testing times. Your thoughts and feelings drive your behaviour and positive thinking can therefore be a powerful stabiliser during periods of anxiety and doubt.
As a mum, it is common to find yourself in these situations:
- Believing you have lost your inner sparkle
- Spending all your time looking after others and neglecting yourself
- Feeling guilty, worried and stressed about new experiences
- Doing things you should be doing, rather than what you want to do
- Insecure about returning to work and wondering whether your career is right for you
As a new mum, you will question the many ways to cope with the experiences with which you are now confronted. In these situations, remind yourself of how you want to live your life. Try not to let your negative thoughts or the ideals of others infringe on the way you bring up your family and live your life.
Negative thoughts and self-limiting beliefs are carried with us from past experiences. However these have developed, work hard to overcome them – leave the past behind, where it belongs. Instead, believe in your own strengths and have the confidence to live your life according to your own values and ideals.
It may come as a surprise, but you are your main priority. You must take care of your own needs, which are as important as those of your family. You should not feel guilty about pursuing pleasures you enjoyed before you had children. Self-care is a major energiser and taking time out will invigorate you. The happier you are, the happier your children and those around you will be.
When you have a baby, family and friends will shower you with advice about raising a family. Too much advice in such a short time can lead to frustration, anxiety and confusion. Listen to what people are telling you but choose to act only on what you believe is right for you and your family.
It is imperative you avoid ‘Perfect Mum Syndrome’ and free yourself from the need to compare yourself with others. The pressure of being a mum is immense and trying to live up to someone else’s expectations is a waste of energy. Seeking an idealised concept of perfection is an impossible, thankless task. Letting go of unachievable ideals releases your feelings of guilt, anxiety and stress – freeing you to live your life according to your rules.
Balancing a successful career and caring for your family poses its own set of challenges. The key here is to manage your time effectively and maintain an organised routine. You must also ensure job satisfaction. If your role lacks true fulfilment, assess your situation and make positive changes for the better. The enjoyment you gain from your career will help you to settle into life as a working mum.
Empowering Mums supports women to live the lives they truly want to live. Adopting this as your main objective will become the underlying source to achieving life-long happiness and contentment. You must recognise your particular qualities and strengths, and celebrate them.
Thinking and living positively is all about making choices that enable you to enjoy your family life. If you want something to happen, you must make it so. The best thing about thinking and living positively is that it sets a good example to your children. It increases their confidence and self-esteem, enabling them to live a positive, fulfilled life too.
Motherhood is one of the greatest challenges a woman can face. Of course there will be times when you will feel uncertain but you will get through these situations when you believe everything can be addressed positively. Live your life with intention and be the mum who has a contagious, relentless passion for life!
Empowering Mums offers one-to-one personal coaching to help mums become the women they strive to be. Having a baby is said to be the most natural thing in the world, but being responsible for a family brings many uncertainties, inadequacies, sleepless nights and feelings of isolation. Empowering Mums was established to provide more than just a coping mechanism. We want mums to achieve life-long ambitions and goals in all aspects of their lives and become successful, fulfilled and happy women.